Your Thoughts on Romance

[Nathander]

I'm wondering what the thoughts of some of the people here are on the concept of romantic love.

I personally believe in the concept of love when it applies to friendship. However, I do not believe in the idea that there's such a thing as "romantic" love; that is, I don't believe anymore in the idea that there's someone out there for someone who would genuinely love you like a boyfriend or girlfriend would love you. In many ways, this is because of how bitter my own experiences with the subject are. But, at the same time, we scientifically know that what we call emotions are only the result of chemical reactions in the mind. This could both account for why you could be in love with someone, while at the same time hating another person for another reason, as different chemical reactions occur in regards to those people. Thus, in many ways, we could debate that emotions are simply reactions with no intrinsic meaning except for defense mechanisms (in occurence with those you are told to hate) and procreation (the reason for what is considered "romantic" love).

Those are simply my opinions but, again, I'm simply a bitter old man at the age of 21 on the subject.

[taranchula]

Just a friendly warning to everyone, I am rather confident that we can have a intelligent and well thought out conversation on the subject, without it devolving into CW Network level drama. But should that occur this thread will be shut down.

Thanks Y'all.

[Partymember]

i think you could look at it in a scientific manner, break down the emotions you have into instinctual drives and personal preferences as cultural preferences, but i don't usually stop to think about that when i see a pretty blonde smiling at me.

Of course i never have much luck, so i might not be the one to ask

but yeah i do believe in "romantic" love, i mean there is obviously an emotional side to the physical. Even if you want to be scientific about it, there is still an instinctual drive to protect and provide for a cute girl, thats what keeps humanity rolling along.

[Lynnie]

Hmm, my thoughts on romance. I believe in romantic love. I think Party stated very well that it's instinctual in most of us for it. For us girls, it's a want/need to nurture and support a guy and be protected. But I believe actual "love" is a choice we make, not just an emotion. There are many emotions that come with it, but I don't see it as an emotion itself. Just look at all the couples who were forced together by their families, or general society, whether it be centuries ago or in this century in a third world culture. Some have never learned to love eachother, this is very true. But others have. They many times had never even seen eachother before the wedding, and yet they learn to love eachother. It was a conscience choice made by both parties. And they both strived to keep it alive and healthy by nurturing their relationship. It also takes some chemistry, which we all know we might not have any control over. At least not without being dishonest to the other person, and even ourselves. So, if you've got the right chemistry, and you can make that conscience decision, then yes, I believe true romantic love exists.

[Partymember]

Originally Posted by Lynnie

For us girls, it's a want/need to nurture and support a guy and be protected.

hang on, lemme write this down

[Medikor]

I absolutely believe in romantic love. I don't know what else you would call the feeling of wanting to be with someone the rest of your life and always be glad to see that same person is with you when you're old and grey.
I may just be a hopeless romantic but I'm sure there's more to having a mate other than to just ensure the survival of our race and our own genes. The celebration of my grandparents 60th anniversary a few years ago only makes me believe in love more strongly than ever.

[Partymember]

lemme put it this way: i've had the same girl on my mind for 2 years now, not just an occasional, "wow, isn't she..." but honest to God nearly 24/7 cannot get her out of my head. She's a good friend of mine, it isn't just a crush, i literally know everything about her, even her problems at home, her psychologiacal issues, her freaky personality quirks, everything. Can't stop thinking about her. An incredibly unfortunate combination of bad timing and the spite of another girl has made it impossible (for now) for me to ask her out, that and my own nervousness. Obviously that goes beyond the visually-based, "dude...she's hot"

[GrimTheLost]

I have been with the same girl for almost six years. If I don't believe in being romantic we wouldn't have lasted. I hope to spend the rest of my life with her. Even though our romance is a slasher flick or a guy movie, it's still there. We even have our own holiday movies: Valentine's Day we watch Valentine with David Boreanas, tell me that isn't romance .

[Ub3rD4n]

I beleive, if only because of my deep-ingrained never-give-up, never-know-when-to-quit attitude when it comes to happiness.

And enough about the chemicals already. Technically, everything in your brain is defined by chemicals, but thinking about it just lessens some of the joy in life.

[jekylljuice]

Originally Posted by Ub3rD4n

And enough about the chemicals already. Technically, everything in your brain is defined by chemicals, but thinking about it just lessens some of the joy in life.

That, or it alleviates some of the pressure.

Erm, don't mind me. I know I'm hardly the most qualified person to be commenting upon the subject of romance. At the time in my life when everybody else around me was panicing about finding themselves a partner, I was too busy fretting about my studies or whether or not the Earth was going to be pulverised by a comet within the next few years.

All in all, I think it's far too subjective a topic for us to be drawing any sound conclusions. If the people who believe very strongly in romantic love have found it in their lives, then I'm very happy for them. I do not, however, view it as the one definitive route toward happiness and completion in life that it's often made out to be. There's more than one way to get fulfilment out of existence.