Crooked Smile - Page 4 - Never Forgotten: a Foster's Home Community

EleFlameMax · 04-29-2007, 01:53 PM

The interpretation of Eduardo and Coco was nearly spot on, and Zigzag was a nice character. That said, I didn't quite like the way you portrayed Blooregard Q. Kazoo, he's not really a soft guy. More of a zany, selfish always-on-his-feet-guy. But I digress, this is about Wilt for the most part, and he was well presented throughout.

Vampyre · 05-09-2007, 01:08 PM

The first chapter was written back in August, so, not to toot my own horn or anything, but my writing has gotten a LOT better since then, mostly in writing out the character's. Bloo didn't REALLY have that mcuh of a part in the first chapter, other wise I'd have probably been able to get him alittle more in character. Sorry.

Vampyre · 05-13-2007, 02:24 AM

Yeah... Chapter 18. Here we go

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3106285/18/

"C" the Dragon · 05-13-2007, 09:15 AM

Looks like Wilt has finally figured out his feelings for her. Oh no, poor Wilt!

antgirl1 · 05-13-2007, 10:19 AM

Ouch...Zigzag really tore Wilt's heart apart there. I can imagine Evanescence's song "Even in Death" playing as I read that argument.

I actually had tears in my eyes from this chapter. And usually for stories, it's hard to crack me open to emotions.

Well done, I say.

Vampyre · 05-13-2007, 10:29 AM

Thank you very much guys

pitbulllady · 05-13-2007, 11:28 AM

Yeah, poor Wilt! I left a review over on FF.net, by the way. That scene reminded me of one in the old series, "Moonlighting", when "David"(played by Bruce Willis with HAIR) finally realized his feelings for his co-worker, "Maddie"(Cybil Shepherd), and was convinced by a bunch of old Black dudes to tell her how he felt(he'd told them of his feelings for this woman, now he's got to finally tell HER). After buying a "Flower for the Dead" from this old Latino woman who kept showing up offering them for sale, David goes running over to Maddie's appartement to tell her how he feels, only to see her going into the apartment accompanied by her old college beau, played by Mark Harmon. He just stands there in the shadows outside, as it starts to pour down rain, and he finally just turns and slams the flower into a nearby garbage can and walks off, defeated. That's exactly how it seemed for Wilt, going to bring Ziz a rose, only to have her tell him that she has accepted a date from another guy.

pitbulllady

Vampyre · 06-30-2007, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pitbulllady

Yeah, poor Wilt! I left a review over on FF.net, by the way. That scene reminded me of one in the old series, "Moonlighting", when "David"(played by Bruce Willis with HAIR) finally realized his feelings for his co-worker, "Maddie"(Cybil Shepherd), and was convinced by a bunch of old Black dudes to tell her how he felt(he'd told them of his feelings for this woman, now he's got to finally tell HER). After buying a "Flower for the Dead" from this old Latino woman who kept showing up offering them for sale, David goes running over to Maddie's appartement to tell her how he feels, only to see her going into the apartment accompanied by her old college beau, played by Mark Harmon. He just stands there in the shadows outside, as it starts to pour down rain, and he finally just turns and slams the flower into a nearby garbage can and walks off, defeated. That's exactly how it seemed for Wilt, going to bring Ziz a rose, only to have her tell him that she has accepted a date from another guy.

pitbulllady

Woah! Bruce Willis with hair?! Now THAT would have been interesting to see.

Anyway, here we go, guys, Chapter Nineteen.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3106285/19/

antgirl1 · 07-01-2007, 11:06 AM

Poor, poor Wilt.

Yeah, that's all I can say at this point.

Vampyre · 09-22-2007, 07:43 AM

Here it is guys, finally...

Chapter 20: Tattling

04-29-2007, 01:53 PM	#31
EleFlameMax Newly Abandoned Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 7	I liked the first chapter. The interpretation of Eduardo and Coco was nearly spot on, and Zigzag was a nice character. That said, I didn't quite like the way you portrayed Blooregard Q. Kazoo, he's not really a soft guy. More of a zany, selfish always-on-his-feet-guy. But I digress, this is about Wilt for the most part, and he was well presented throughout. __________________ Image violated forum rules Click here for further details Last edited by EleFlameMax; 04-29-2007 at 01:56 PM.

05-13-2007, 09:15 AM	#34
"C" the Dragon Foster's Legend ...and be amazed by it's powerful flames! Roar! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Michigan Posts: 659	Looks like Wilt has finally figured out his feelings for her. Oh no, poor Wilt! __________________ "I made it myself!" -GIR "Chwithmith?! I mean, Christmas?! But that was months ago!" -Wilt "Wilt, your my best friend. You got to stop saying your sorry. It's not okay. Okay?" -Jordan Micheals Icon made by Xx Broken With A SmilexX!

09-22-2007, 07:43 AM	#40
Vampyre Smart Aleck Woah! Look at that ZIT!... PSYCHE! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Black Country Posts: 299	Here it is guys, finally... Chapter 20: Tattling Last edited by Cassini90125; 03-26-2020 at 06:44 PM.

05-09-2007, 01:08 PM	#32
Vampyre Smart Aleck Woah! Look at that ZIT!... PSYCHE! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Black Country Posts: 299	The first chapter was written back in August, so, not to toot my own horn or anything, but my writing has gotten a LOT better since then, mostly in writing out the character's. Bloo didn't REALLY have that mcuh of a part in the first chapter, other wise I'd have probably been able to get him alittle more in character. Sorry.

05-13-2007, 02:24 AM	#33
Vampyre Smart Aleck Woah! Look at that ZIT!... PSYCHE! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Black Country Posts: 299	Yeah... Chapter 18. Here we go http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3106285/18/

05-13-2007, 10:19 AM	#35
antgirl1 Baja Blast my Beloved Rapo or Rachel is fine! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Posts: 1,781	Ouch...Zigzag really tore Wilt's heart apart there. I can imagine Evanescence's song "Even in Death" playing as I read that argument. I actually had tears in my eyes from this chapter. And usually for stories, it's hard to crack me open to emotions. Well done, I say.

05-13-2007, 10:29 AM	#36
Vampyre Smart Aleck Woah! Look at that ZIT!... PSYCHE! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Black Country Posts: 299	Thank you very much guys

05-13-2007, 11:28 AM	#37
pitbulllady Co-Administrator Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: South Carolina Posts: 2,276	Yeah, poor Wilt! I left a review over on FF.net, by the way. That scene reminded me of one in the old series, "Moonlighting", when "David"(played by Bruce Willis with HAIR) finally realized his feelings for his co-worker, "Maddie"(Cybil Shepherd), and was convinced by a bunch of old Black dudes to tell her how he felt(he'd told them of his feelings for this woman, now he's got to finally tell HER). After buying a "Flower for the Dead" from this old Latino woman who kept showing up offering them for sale, David goes running over to Maddie's appartement to tell her how he feels, only to see her going into the apartment accompanied by her old college beau, played by Mark Harmon. He just stands there in the shadows outside, as it starts to pour down rain, and he finally just turns and slams the flower into a nearby garbage can and walks off, defeated. That's exactly how it seemed for Wilt, going to bring Ziz a rose, only to have her tell him that she has accepted a date from another guy. pitbulllady

07-01-2007, 11:06 AM	#39
antgirl1 Baja Blast my Beloved Rapo or Rachel is fine! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Posts: 1,781	Poor, poor Wilt. Yeah, that's all I can say at this point.