Spider-Man

[AerostarMonk]

I don't think Spidey 3 is anywhere near as cheesy a fan-fiction as the much beloved Burton affairs of so-called Batman movies, or the forced mismash of half-baked Star Wars into the Age of Piracy in the POTC movies. In fact off the top of my head I can think of many movies that are cheesier and more forced than anything in Spidey 3. The problem is many of these films are lauded as the best things in cinema by geeks and average moviegoers alike, so what do I know? You're talking to a man who thinks one of the best superhero movies of recent years, or in fact all time, is Mystery Men by Udo Kier with tons of help from Bob Burden.

I still think the Spidey movies are great. I also think that Raimi never truly got his chance to shine on this series, from focus groups to the great Arad, he was crushed in on all sides. Raimi hates Venom with a passion, and every Raimi fan knows this. It's the main reason why the character was treated as an afterthought in the film. He's a Silver Age lover. If Raimi had it his way Cromwell probably would've been the Vulture rather than Capt. Stacy. There's a reason why the Sandman thread of the whole plot was the best in my opinion, because that was the only part of the movie Sam put his whole heart into. He almost did the same with Goblin for a point, but just not with the same "oomph" as he did for Flint Marko.

One thing I think is funny is that in John Bryne's Spider-Man Chapter One Marko is related to the Osbournes, and in the comics it looked like he could be. Strangely enough, in the movie, it's not such a stretch to think the same thing. Church actually looks like an odd mix of both Defoe and Steven Tyler, making him look sorta like he could be some Osbourne family reject.

Turner D. Century could never work in actuality unless they chose to roll back time and send Spidey to San Francisco. Turner D. at this point in time would be way to old to be riding flying tandem bikes. If he acquired some youth serum it would totally negate his whole villanous scheme.

One sorta wonders what would have happened if MGM when it was still separate from Sony, would've done when it had the license to Venom. They actually had a big movie planned with Brock in a Spidey-free universe acquiring the black symbiote and rampaging through San Francisco before become the anti-hero he ended up being the comics. They ended up selling the license of course, because the idea was as stupid as it sounds. All screenplays for the project were buried. And now being owned by Sony, you'd have an easier time getting Disney to release Song of the South than ever getting your hands on a lost Venom script

The CW is starting another Spider-Man cartoon series, this one set during his high school years. Like every Spider-Man adaptation both Betty and Gwen are pushed to the side as love interests. Much to the chagrin of fans. The Parker-Watson marriage is thought of as a great Jump the Shark moment to many. If you look in the right circles you'll find that more people are upset that she didn't die during Civil War than Parker unmasking himself in public. A real surprise in itself seeing as Quesada himself admitting that he hated the fact that Peter and Mary Jane are still together. Back to the show, I hope it can live up to the fantastic 90s series which just went all out and brought in everybody. You can thank that show in bringing interest back to Blade which launhced that character to his own movie franchise. Plus, anyone under 30 who did not attempt to imitate that Joe Perry riff in the theme song is a major dork.

Anyway, back to the main topic, if you want to read some cheesy fan-fiction go check out JMS's current Back in Black arc in Amazing. Now that's cheesy!