Foster's Dreams

["C" the Dragon]

Originally Posted by pitbulllady

I had another Foster's dream last night(musta been the smoked hog jowl, or maybe the Hoppin' John)that played out like one of the "shorts". It starts with Wilt and Frankie cleaning up in the foyer-Frankie dusting the tables and stuff, and Wilt dusting off the higher places that he can best reach. Much to their annoyance, Cheese walks in, with that characteristic dopey look on his face, and announces, "I FOUND a DOGGIE!" He then pulls this "doggie" from behind his back, and it's a possum-a DEAD possum. I'm talking road-kill, one of those furry pancakes you see alongside the highway, and it's buzzing with blow-flies, and Cheese is holding it up by the tail. In my dream, I swear I could smell that unmistakable stench of rotting meat, and obviously Wilt and Frankie could smell it too, since they immediately turned and high-tailed it for the kitchen, gasping and trying not to be sick, while barricading themselves in there with chairs, a large cabinet-whatever they could move! After what seemed like most of the day had passed, Wilt finally dared to move the stuff away and cautiously take a peek outside, with Frankie asking, "Is he gone? Please, please let him be gone!" Wilt answers that he doesn't see anyone in the foyer, so they breathe a sigh of relief and take a few steps out of the kitchen. They don't get far, though, before they're hit with that stench once again-CHEESE may be gone, but he's left behind his "doggie", and it's lying right there in the middle of the floor, with its attendant flies!

Once more, Wilt and Frankie bolt for the kitchen, sweat running off their brows, as they try to fight back nausea. NOW they have another problem-there is a long-dead possum lying in the middle of the foyer, and one of THEM has to go remove it. Dialog is as follows, more or less:

Frankie: I don't know why we're making such a big deal out of this. I mean, it's a dead possum, for Pete's sake! You can just go take it out to the dumpster and...

Wilt: Waitwaitwait...I'm sorry, but it sounded like you were implying that *I* could go take that thing to the dumpsta...*nervous chuckle*...I mean, *I'M* not the Estate Manager here!

Frankie: I KNOW you're not trying to say that *I* should go pick that thing up and take it outside!

Wilt: I was just sayin' that since YOU are the one in charge, it should be YOUR responsibility to get rid of dead possums, I mean, if that's OK!

A brief arguement follows, after which they both realize that this is getting them nowhere, and Wilt suggests, "I'm sorry, but this isn't getting us anywhere. We STILL have a dead possum in the foyer, stinkin' up the place, and who knows WHAT will happen if Eduardo comes along and finds it! I propose that we stop actin' like a coupla kids and settle this like two mature, intelligent adults!"

Frankie: "Right!"
The scene cuts out, then back to them deciding which one should deal with the dead possum by playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors". Wilt choose scissors, but Frankie chooses a rock, which means Wilt looses. HE has to go remove the dead possum, and Frankie resolves to provide emotional support...from the kitchen. "Just breathe through your mouth, don't look at it, and try to...try to....I know, PRETEND it's something else, like uh....a basketball! That's it, a basketball! Just try not to dribble it on the way out!"

Wilt, meanwhile, is SO not looking forward to this. He's biting his lip and sweating like a racehorse as he eases out into the foyer, towards the offending roadkill, as Frankie offers encouragement from behind the kitchen door. Suddenly, his nerve breaks, and he turns and rushes back to the kitchen, nearly knocking Frankie over, and collapses to the floor next to the door, nearly green with nausea and blabbering almost-incohently about "maggots"-apparently those are the only things that Wilt really has a phobia of! While Frankie tries to get him to calm down and "get it together, MAN", that big slobby stinky Imaginary Friend that wears the baseball cap(who is seen with his business-suited creator in GWH), walks in and find the possum on the floor. He casually picks it up by the tail, saying, "Hey, somebody lose a dead possum? Anybody? Shoot, 'shore is ashame to just throw away a perfectly good dead possum like this, but I reckon some people got no 'preciation for the finer things in life! Reckon I might as well go take it out back to the dumpster...man, this thing shore does stink; fer a minute there I thought it was me, heh-hey!*Sniffs armpit" Well, hey, that WAS me, dad-gum! Beginnin' ta think I'd lost it there fer awhile!" With that, he carries the possum carcass outside.

At some point later, the main group-Frankie, Wilt, Ed, Mac, Bloo, and Coco-are sitting around or on the sofa watching tv, when they hear Cheese come in the foyer, calling out, "Hey look, I found a HORSIE!" Upon hearing that, Wilt and Frankie, with horrified expressions, look at each other and say, "A HORSIE?!", then nearly trip up over each other getting up and running out of the room, much to the bewilderment of their comrades!

pitbulllady

Ever since you told us that dream, PBL... I keep seeing it as a comic and I want to make it if I got your permission. Besides, I'm too lazy to do it, and, say it with me now: I'm not a member of Deviantart.