Vac and Bloo

[taranchula]

Hey guys, it's time to see what insomnia can do a human brain, it causes this human to write a short subject about Robot Vacuums ENJOY!

FADE IN:

INT. THE SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY

BLOO is walking merrily along enjoying a movie sized bag of popcorn, as he walks down the hall way he tosses kernels of corn into his mouth one at a time, one of the pieces misses his mouth and falls onto the floor, Bloo is about to just leave it lying there and walk away until seemingly out of no where one of those small circular vacuum cleaner robots sucks up the errant kernel. This site is enough to get Bloo?s attention. Of course Bloo thinks that this curious looking labour saving device is a fellow imaginary friend.

BLOO
Did you just eat that piece of popcorn off of the floor?

The robot vacuum beeps at Bloo, which Bloo takes as a yes.

BLOO (CONT'D)
Wow, you must be really hungry to do something like that.

Bloo tosses a few more kernels of popcorn onto the floor which the robot vacuum sucks up as it was programed to do.

BLOO (CONT'D)
Geez, didn?t your kid ever feed you at all?

Bloo?s query is interrupted by two of Eduardo's imaginary puppies running through the hallway, one of them bumps into a nearby night stand and knocks over a lamp which crashes into the floor and shatters into a million pieces, the robot vacuum heads over to where the shattered lamp lies.

BLOO (CONT'D)
Hey? What are you doing that?s broken glass.

Obviously since the robot is only programed to clean up spills it ignores Bloo?s advice and goes over and begins to suck up the small shards of ceramic that is strewn about the floor. Bloo winces as he thinks that his new found ?friend? is going to hurt himself, but then opens his eyes to find that the robot vacuum has successfully sucked up the broken lamp shards, and is continuing down the hall way looking for more messes to clean up.

BLOO (CONT'D)
Holy Guacamole that was amazing, I got to show you off to everybody!

Bloo runs down the hallway in search of others to show off his new find. Moments later he reemerges with WILT and COCO in tow. Wilt is carrying a bag of skittle like candy.

BLOO (CONT'D)
Guys, you have got check out this new robot friend, he?ll eat anything off the floor.

WILT
Anything?

BLOO
Yeah, I?ll prove it to you.

Bloo snatches the bag of rainbow candy from Wilt?s hands and dumps it?s contents over the floor. Moments later the robot vacuum comes back and sucks up the mess with little effort.

WILT
That is pretty amazing! He ate em all!

BLOO
Yeah, what else can we feed it?

COCO
Coco! (I know!)

Coco lays one of her trademarked eggs, Bloo opens it up and inside is various little screws, nuts and bolts. Bloo dumps them over the floor and within moments the robot vacuum sucks that mess up as well, Bloo is overly giddy with excitement. The robot vacuum begins to beep yet again.

BLOO
It must still be hungry, we must find it something else to eat!

CHEESE (On another one of his unannounced visits to Foster?s) walks down the hallway with a cannister of powdered chocolate milk in his hands.

CHEESE
I like chocolate mil....

Before he can finish his catch phrase Bloo snatches the canister out of Cheese?s hands and dumps it on the floor. The robot vacuum, sucks up the powder while Bloo, Coco and Wilt looks on in amazement, in the background Cheese is screaming his head off, but the other three pay him no mind. Suddenly the robot vacuum stays in place and begins to beep as if to signify it?s canister is full. Bloo not tired of his new friend tries tossing various mixtures of chocolate milk powder, nuts, pieces of lamp and popcorn towards the robot vacuum, but the machine is not sucking them up.

BLOO
Come on, why aren?t you eating?

WILT
Maybe he?s stuffed.

BLOO
It can?t be stuffed, it?s a literal eating machine. Here try this.

Bloo tosses an antacid on the floor, beside the robot vacuum, the vacuum remains motionless.

BLOO (CONT'D)
Wow the poor guy must be sick, we should get him to bed.

Bloo picks up the vacuum which continues to beep, a little ways down the hallway, EDUARDO happens upon the site of Bloo carrying a smallish circular beeping object. Eduardo gets a really worried looks on his face and charges down the hallway towards Bloo.

EDUARDO
Senior Bloo! Put that down!

Eduardo takes down Bloo with a picture perfect spear tackle, he wrestles the vacuum out of Bloo?s hands. And runs down the hallway at top speed, Bloo, Coco and Wilt listen as they hear the sound of crashing and banging, moments later Eduardo reappears dusting his now empty hands.

BLOO
What the heck did you do that for Ed? That was our new friend

EDUARDO
Senior Bloo, that thing was going to explode on you. You see I was watching TV and they was talking about these small circular things that looked like what Azul had in his hands, and if you touch them you will explode. I think they are called ?hand mines?.

WILT
I think you mean ?land mines?.

EDUARDO
Si land mines, the explodey circular things.

BLOO
What?! We take that thing in and feed it and it was just going to explode on us all along? Well good riddance says I.

EDUARDO
Do not worry I tossed it very very far away, so it will not be exploding anywhere near Foster?s.

WILT
Yeah exploding friends are not okay in the slightest, but where did something like that come from in the first place?

CUT TO:

INT. FRANKIE?S BEDROOM.

FRANKIE is strewn on the bed talking to her never seen human friend Cathy.

FRANKIE
Hey Cath, remember Chaz our old friend from high school? You?ll never guess what he is doing now? He?s selling those little circular robotic vacuum cleaners like you see on TV, yeah I thought I?d humor him by buying his latest model, It was expensive, but to be honest it works pretty well, it?s way better then the normal way that?s for sure, you can program it clean any room in the house, I programed it to clean the second floor hallway, it should be done by now so I got to let you go now, later Cathy.

Frankie hangs up the telephone, and leaves her bedroom.

CUT TO:

INT. THE SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY

Upon leaving her bedroom, Frankie happens upon Bloo, Wilt, Coco and Eduardo.

FRANKIE
Oh hey guys you haven?t seen a robot vacuum cleaner anywhere?

BLOO
Oh no we haven?t seen anything like that, we did see a beeping gluttonous floor sucking land mine that Ed tossed out of the house before it could explode on us all. Man Frankie don?t you do any fact checking anymore? Letting such a dangerous friend in the house.

The gang walks off, leaving Frankie with a look of puzzlement on her face.

FRANKIE
A beeping gluttonous floor sucking land mine? Now that?s just weird. Even for Bloo....

But it is at that very moment that Frankie realizes that this ?beeping gluttonous floor sucking land mine? that Bloo was talking about actually fits the description of a certain vacuum cleaner that was rather violently ejected from Foster?s. Frankie further gets the message when she sees a huge mess on the floor and an open window nearby. She comes to a mental conclusion that her new vacuum is very far away and all the money spent on it, is now down the drain, and what?s worse and she is now forced to clean up the mess the old fashioned way. She goes into the nearby storage closet and gets out the old fashioned vacuum and begins to clean, about this time MR. HERRIMAN comes upon this cleaning spectacle and gives his two cents on the matter.

MR. HERRIMAN
Ah vacuuming the halls, eh Miss Francis? Well it?s good to see you do it the old fashioned way and have not succumbed to the allure of modern technology, I was reading in the paper this morning about these vacuum cleaner robots, what a ridiculous notion, not to mention a gross waste of money. If I ever see one of those devices around here rest assured it will tossed out the window post haste.

Frankie is a little miffed that now she has to deal with this after what happened just a moment ago.

FRANKIE
Yeah I?ll say, oh by the way you have some kind of crumb on your shirt there.

MR. HERRIMAN
Oh really?

FRANKIE
Yeah don?t worry I?ll take care of it in the ?old fashioned? way.

Frankie then picks up the vacuum and attaches it to Herriman?s shirt causing much suction related discomfort to the old rabbit.

MR. HERRIMAN
Miss Francis!

And we leave on the scene of Frankie getting a small measure of revenge on the rabbit.

FADE OUT.