Need some serious advice

[Mr. Marshmallow]

In the past I have come on this forum and expressed serious issues with my life. Some I regret, most I didn't. Right now I am facing an issue I am seriously seeking some advice from you guys, yet ironically enough it my confiding in you about this issue that is part of the "problem" I seek advice in.

I'm currently 23, going on 24 by this May. I live with my parents and my 18 year old brother who has been drinking and has outright assaulted my very way of life. To be honest about who I am, you must know I am still heavily into cartoons, anime, and spend a great deal of time surfing the web and talking to people.

I don't have a multitude of friends but I have one very close one and others at another school, though even though he is singular, he has become one of my most kindred spirits in the way of friendships. I'm graduating from college this may with my bachelor's degree in liberal arts for psychology and going on for my masters.

My brother feels I am an outcast, that I am hiding behind my parents and that his life is normal and mine is not. To him, I'm farther back on the evolutionary chain because of my lifestyle despite me being older then him. His rants have met with me standing up for myself, and times when I chose not to.

He believes I am doing "Jack S**T" wasting my life on anime and going on the computer. I admit i spend lots of time online and not out as much as I like to. But I don't believe in his way of life in going out with people to bars and getting drunk. That it is not me, it is not my life and I'd rather die a lonely old man then turn into the lifestyle person he has been pushing me to become.

I admit, I must sound ironically pathetic to ask online friends for counseling. But considering this late hour in which this fight is erupting and the fact my last late night friend that I talk to has just turned off her phone, I find myself with no one to speak to of this matter and I wanted to do it while it was fresh in my mind.

I hate fighting with my brother like this, and sometimes I feel he's right and my life is some sort of babyized fantasy I live in simply because of my loneliness. As I said I have few people to talk to at this very moment, so I hope you'll forgive my boldness and don't mind me expressing this and possibly helping me on this subject. Believe me, I know how sad I must sound in RL.

I do not want you guys to automatically invoke sympathy or pity on me on my words alone. I ask you take a good long read at what I said and respond honestly and truthfully, no matter how harsh it may sound. I apologize at this rather boldness and thank you guys for your time and any words you may offer.

[One Radical Dude]

So what? So am I. Your 18-year-old brother is telling you how to live your own life? You shouldn't let him do that to you. You're actually in college trying to better yourself in life. What is HE doing? Does he have any ambitions on his own? If the answer is no, then YOU should be the one to say something to him about his life. Just because you spend time online a lot and and watching cartoons doesn't mean you're nothing. Getting drunk and going to the bars doesn't make one any better than others. I don't find that kind of activity any fun to me.

[Cassini90125]

Your brother is an idiot. Hanging around bars and getting drunk is a far greater waste of time than watching cartoons or spending time online. If these are things that make you happy and bring pleasure and/or meaning to your life, then who is he to judge? My younger brother doesn't understand my interests in such things either and I'm sure he disapproves to some extent, although at least he has the decency to keep his mouth shut about it.

It is unfortunate that your brother's lifestyle is the more common and more "socially acceptable" lifestyle. A man goes out drinking and wenching and we give him a high-five and say, "Alright, dude, good for you!", whereas someone who opts to watch animation or chat online and socialize with people with whom he has a common interest gets a raised eyebrow. I think that says something about society in general, and it doesn't say much.

I'm not sure what else to say at the moment. As you noted the hour is late and in truth my mind is starting to fog over for want of sleep. But believe me when I tell you that I know exactly where you're coming from.

[Medikor]

ORD and Cassini hit the nail on the head, Mr.M. Your brother's still just a kid who gets drunk. Who is he to tell you you're wasting your life?

[Imaginary Light]

You're the one in college, bettering your life and perfecting your skills. What is your brother doing? Drinking and going to bars all the time? And he tells you you're the loser? He's a hypocrite.

And focusing on something you're really interested in is far better than focusing on something that's "socially acceptable" and life destructing.

That and he should just learn to mind his own business.

[some guy you dont know]

your brother is insane. pretty much like everyone else has said, you are doing something much better than he is. and even though he is your brother, you shouldnt listen to what he says. dont let people control you, be yourself, and enjoy life.

there is my two cents.

[Mr. Marshmallow]

Thanks guys, you've really been a big help. Sad to say though things have escalated and gone into more seriously bad issues. Turns out my brother's main issue with my lifestyle was he felt I was some baby clinging to his parents and not going out and meeting more people or doing more stuff like he did.

He argued with my parents, screaming at them and at times at me until like 2 am and it got so bad he actually left the house and we had to call the cops to make sure he made it to a friends house safe and sound. Today, he's still in a mood and my parents are making all kinds of precautions to keep him out.

They feel he really needs to cool off and we feel he's gonna try and stay at his friends place for days and I really hate to see this. My brother and I can get into seriously ugly ass arguments but I don't want him to be like this. My dependency on my parents isn't part of some weakness where I can't live on my own.

Unlike my brother, I have a very good relationship with my parents and they talk to me and support me instead of how my brother thinks I am like stapling myself to them and leeching off them. My parents have done more for me then I ever thought a parent could do and for that, I share everything with them.

Either way, I hate seeing my brother like this and I seriously honest to god, pray on a stack of bibles that he gets a reality check and comes back and ends this stupid crap. He hurt me but I don't want to lose him either.