Christmas Decorations! - Never Forgotten: a Foster's Home Community

Ridureyu · 12-16-2007, 11:27 PM

While Christmas decorations are nice (Well, some of them are), the process of actually DECORATING isn't. The decorations themselves are stored the rest of the year in massive, heavy plastic tubs and balanced on the rafters above the garage. To get them down, someone has to squeeeeze up top and send them down for somebody else to not-drop-but-ease-them-into-carrying-height and not die. We also tend to recruit random high school/college help each time, since the more capable hands we have, the better. For that reason, we seem to have coined the following phrase:

"We need a sacrifice for the Christmas Deathtrap!"

Every year, we lose track of where we put our outdoor lights. Thus, we keep replacing them. I don't know what happens to each year's tub, but this year I FINALLY succeeded in finding some old lights:

Two strings worth. 200 lights total. Somehow, I had to make this cover the whole house (I am NOT buying more lights). Unforutnately, these aren't the icicle-styled lights we usually use, and the hanging nails are on the BACK of the eaves. Thus, I had to let the strings droop between each nail to make it visible. It covers about half of the visible house froom the street. Hence, the following statement:

"Merry Half-Assed Christmas."

The Creche set has been in our family since time out of mind. This year, I noticed that one of the Wise Men was posed differently: He was facing away from everyone else, and the Angel was slung over his shoulder fireman-style.

Me: "Why is one of the Wise Men running off with the angel?"

Not-Me: "He's black."

Me: "That's racist."

Not-Me: "The white Wise Man is trying to grope Mary."

Me: "That's Sacreligious."

Me: "What's a G.I. Joe doing there?"

Not-Me: "He's giving the Gift of Machine Guns!"

Also, from Christmas shopping, someone whose name will be removed to protect innocence was buying Gas-X as a stocking stuffer. My response?

Me: "Merry Christmas, honey. Here's some Gas-X!"

Not-Me: "Hey! I'm trying to be practical this year."

Me: "Merry Christmas, honey! I decided to be practical this year. Here's some Gas-X!"

Not-Me: "..."

Me: "...And have some Milk of Magnesia, too! Keeps the mail moving!"

ADDENDUM FROM LATER:

Me: (Still joking about Gas-X for Christmas)

Not-Me: "Stop being so loud! That's the only thing he's getting that isn't a surprise!

...Maybe the insanity is all my fault. I DID supply this as a Decoration:

Frosty the Snowman! He's gonna crush your skull!

(So, does anybody else have anything to say about THEIR Christmas this year?)

Cassini90125 · 12-16-2007, 11:32 PM

That made my day, all of it. Thanks!

Ridureyu · 12-16-2007, 11:43 PM

I added another anecdote.

some guy you dont know · 12-17-2007, 04:22 AM

my house doesnt have much, just a few lights on some of the bushes, and some candy cane-like things.

a local resident, i mentioned this in another thread, however, kinda went, well... this is only half of it. you be the judge.

Medikor · 12-17-2007, 09:43 AM

My mother has such a love for Christmas that she is always buying new ornaments year round. The supply room gets more and more crowded every day that it really isn't pleasant when I get the call to lug the stuff up the stairs for her.
What really gets me rather disgruntled about it all is that she's started experimenting over the last few years and ,thus, broke many of the traditions he have. I can't tell you how much I absolutely hate those white lights on the tree. They just don't have the life and radiance that coloured ones do. And those beads in place of garland... it's just not natural, I tells ya!

Diamond Duchess · 12-17-2007, 12:21 PM

Well, actually, my family and I were kinda busy this year, due to work and studying for finals, so we haven't had time to decorate for Christmas.

Just yesterday, we finally got around to putting up our tree. It's a nice looking tree, but it's not the plastic one we usually use. It's an actual tree, although it's not a Christmas tree. It appears to be a type of flowering tree that we strung tinsel, ornaments and shiny things on.

Just something I'd like to mention to everyone here.

Sparky · 12-17-2007, 03:40 PM

Around here Halloween is the big event (and leaves remnants year round). But I do put out some lights on the porch, and we put up a little 2 1/2 foot tree. New for this year are Reese's and Starbucks ornaments.

But this is probably the best ornament we have, I found it at an import store:

Except for the green tail it looks just like Kiwi.

Ridureyu · 12-17-2007, 04:02 PM

Looking just like your pet is a wonderful, wonderful thing!

Bloonan · 12-17-2007, 03:34 PM

ROFL nice. The whole post amuses me, especially the last pic. I thought it was a CGI designed image inspired by "The Nightmare Before Christmas".

12-16-2007, 11:27 PM	#1
Ridureyu Permanent Resident Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 428	Christmas Decorations! While Christmas decorations are nice (Well, some of them are), the process of actually DECORATING isn't. The decorations themselves are stored the rest of the year in massive, heavy plastic tubs and balanced on the rafters above the garage. To get them down, someone has to squeeeeze up top and send them down for somebody else to not-drop-but-ease-them-into-carrying-height and not die. We also tend to recruit random high school/college help each time, since the more capable hands we have, the better. For that reason, we seem to have coined the following phrase: "We need a sacrifice for the Christmas Deathtrap!" Every year, we lose track of where we put our outdoor lights. Thus, we keep replacing them. I don't know what happens to each year's tub, but this year I FINALLY succeeded in finding some old lights: Two strings worth. 200 lights total. Somehow, I had to make this cover the whole house (I am NOT buying more lights). Unforutnately, these aren't the icicle-styled lights we usually use, and the hanging nails are on the BACK of the eaves. Thus, I had to let the strings droop between each nail to make it visible. It covers about half of the visible house froom the street. Hence, the following statement: "Merry Half-Assed Christmas." The Creche set has been in our family since time out of mind. This year, I noticed that one of the Wise Men was posed differently: He was facing away from everyone else, and the Angel was slung over his shoulder fireman-style. Me: "Why is one of the Wise Men running off with the angel?" Not-Me: "He's black." Me: "That's racist." Not-Me: "The white Wise Man is trying to grope Mary." Me: "That's Sacreligious." Me: "What's a G.I. Joe doing there?" Not-Me: "He's giving the Gift of Machine Guns!" Also, from Christmas shopping, someone whose name will be removed to protect innocence was buying Gas-X as a stocking stuffer. My response? Me: "Merry Christmas, honey. Here's some Gas-X!" Not-Me: "Hey! I'm trying to be practical this year." Me: "Merry Christmas, honey! I decided to be practical this year. Here's some Gas-X!" Not-Me: "..." Me: "...And have some Milk of Magnesia, too! Keeps the mail moving!" ADDENDUM FROM LATER: Me: (Still joking about Gas-X for Christmas) Not-Me: "Stop being so loud! That's the only thing he's getting that isn't a surprise! ...Maybe the insanity is all my fault. I DID supply this as a Decoration: Frosty the Snowman! He's gonna crush your skull! (So, does anybody else have anything to say about THEIR Christmas this year?) __________________ Last edited by Ridureyu; 12-17-2007 at 12:31 AM.

12-16-2007, 11:32 PM	#2
Cassini90125 The Postmaster Love gives you courage that's stronger than anything! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Saturn Posts: 6,668	That made my day, all of it. Thanks! __________________ "Frankie! That weird kid is using a flower pot for a cup!" Sailor Moon. Best Anime EVER.

12-16-2007, 11:43 PM	#3
Ridureyu Permanent Resident Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 428	I added another anecdote. __________________

12-17-2007, 04:22 AM	#4
some guy you dont know Just a Poor Boy Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: some building in some city of some state in some country. Posts: 826	my house doesnt have much, just a few lights on some of the bushes, and some candy cane-like things. a local resident, i mentioned this in another thread, however, kinda went, well... this is only half of it. you be the judge. __________________ I just became a member of a club known as the bumbling fools Botching the game and the best things in life is the motto and the rule

12-17-2007, 09:43 AM	#5
Medikor Robot Master I'm a bubble man! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nova Scotia, Canada Posts: 1,428	My mother has such a love for Christmas that she is always buying new ornaments year round. The supply room gets more and more crowded every day that it really isn't pleasant when I get the call to lug the stuff up the stairs for her. What really gets me rather disgruntled about it all is that she's started experimenting over the last few years and ,thus, broke many of the traditions he have. I can't tell you how much I absolutely hate those white lights on the tree. They just don't have the life and radiance that coloured ones do. And those beads in place of garland... it's just not natural, I tells ya! __________________

12-17-2007, 12:21 PM	#6
Diamond Duchess Banned I love chocolate cake, I like pencil erasers, too... Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Amarillo, Texas Posts: 161	Well, actually, my family and I were kinda busy this year, due to work and studying for finals, so we haven't had time to decorate for Christmas. Just yesterday, we finally got around to putting up our tree. It's a nice looking tree, but it's not the plastic one we usually use. It's an actual tree, although it's not a Christmas tree. It appears to be a type of flowering tree that we strung tinsel, ornaments and shiny things on. Just something I'd like to mention to everyone here.

12-17-2007, 03:40 PM	#7
Sparky Undisputed Ruler of Terrencania Am not Slave-O-Matic! Am Johnny Five! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 5,718	Around here Halloween is the big event (and leaves remnants year round). But I do put out some lights on the porch, and we put up a little 2 1/2 foot tree. New for this year are Reese's and Starbucks ornaments. But this is probably the best ornament we have, I found it at an import store: Except for the green tail it looks just like Kiwi. __________________ Custom Machine Embroidery & More

12-17-2007, 04:02 PM	#8
Ridureyu Permanent Resident Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 428	Looking just like your pet is a wonderful, wonderful thing! __________________

12-17-2007, 03:34 PM	#9
Bloonan Banned No sudden movements... I'm watching you. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: In the dark corner of my room, with my computer and my video games. Posts: 259	ROFL nice. The whole post amuses me, especially the last pic. I thought it was a CGI designed image inspired by "The Nightmare Before Christmas".