So, I was out running a few errands today, nothing big, when I saw something positively hilarious/terrifying. You know those generic Pirate/knight/rescue worker/soldier/explorer/whatever things that K-Mart, Big Lots, and some other people have? They're 3-3/4" scale, fairly well-detailed, and even have a good enough variety of accessories for kids? Really, they're not bad things to give to a youngster. I noticed the two "Pirate Expeditions" figures (which sadly had been gathering dust), and actually jumped a bit. Want to know why?
The first pack starts with a fairly generic bald pirate. Or maybe he's a Mexican gang leader.
The accessories are kind of cool, too. A sword, a knife, a pistol, a length of anchor chain, a treasure map (unfortunately cardboard), a pickaxe, and a spyglass.
And then there's this.
HOLY CRAP AGH!
Let's give little Bobby nightmares! Really, the pictures do not do this spider justice. It's even textured well.
The second pack is somewhat different.
Here we see a rabid Scotsman with a wooden arm. Okay.
And here are some weapons, including a hawk and an axe/manacle combo that fits into the hole in his wooden arm. Pretty cool, right?
Again, the picture does not do this horrible nightmare justice.
THE WOLVES OF MORDOR ARE COMING FOR YOU, JIMMY