Here's another semi-entertaining tidbit I received just this evening-
Quote:
From the desk of Dr. Henry Salami,
The Audit Section of the Presidency,
Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Attention: The beneficiary,
Dear Sir,
Re: Payment Instruction for your outstanding claim.
For succinct introduction, I am Dr. Henry Salami of the above named Section of the
Federal Republic of Nigeria (FRN). The presidency has mandated the Audit Section
to handle all foreign Contract awarded and commissioned since 1985 till date.
Based on that your file has been forwarded to my office for review and subsequent
payment to those contracts that was genuinely awarded and commissioned.
Based on the review carried out on your claim, I discovered that the claim you are
laying was grossly over-invoiced and inflated to that magnitude by some officials
who contacted you to provide an account to receive the fund simply because the
code of conduct bureau does not permit civil servants to run or operate foreign
account. You are presented to receive the fund ($5.1M) as the beneficiary.
I have discovered that at no time did you execute any contract for the Federal
Republic of Nigeria, that you are contacted by some officials who presented you as
the beneficiary just because Contract payment falls within their area of
jurisdiction. Their aim is to divert the fund for you all to share mutually. I
discovered and decided to contact you though you might find it difficult to
believe but it is just the hard truth and so much money has been spent in these
matter.
I am contacting you just for one reason that the fund can still be paid if I
recommend because my discovery has not be revealed to anyone yet and I don't want
to cancel the payment out rightly because it will not go down well with you. I
want to let you know that the fund can be paid if you are ready to follow my
advise and work secretly with me due to the fact that I have interest in the fund
. I want to benefit from it, so let me know what
will be my share out of it then I will go ahead and correct the anomalies and your
past mistakes for the fund to be paid to you in seven working days.I am writing
you with the spirit that you have seen that this is the truth but it will be very
difficult to believe. As an Auditor attached to the Presidency, I am interested in
the fund and I will like us to do the business together then I will write a
favorable report about the claim for
the immediate release of the fund or I will put up a report that will lead to the
total cancellation of the payment. I know you have lost much money in Lobbying the
officials to get the approvals.
At the precise moment, the claim has been processed, we are irrevocably mandated
to debit the Federal Government account and credit the beneficiary's account. It
might interest you to note that seven working day from the moment you acknowledge
the receipt of this mail and agree on my terms will be enough to confirm the fund
transfered into your account provided you abide by my rules and also maintain the
confidentiality of the transaction to avoid anything that will discredit my
reputation. I advice you discontinue any further communication with any other
person for us to proceed in concrete fashion.
Waiting for your response as a matter of urgency as the first Payment Quarter will
come to end shortly. Do reconfirm your current telephone. It is for effective
communication.
Revert with utmost urgency.
Thanks,
Yours faithfully,
Dr. Henry Salami.
Auditor of the Federation. (FGN
|
Huh, he's interested in it and wants me to share my money with him, and wants me to contact him secretly. Oh, and he called me "Sir". Mmm hmm. And who talks like this? Not even the most professional people would write such a long winded letter to a stranger. I felt like I was reading a case file or something.
