Your Thoughts on Romance
 

I'm wondering what the thoughts of some of the people here are on the concept of romantic love.

I personally believe in the concept of love when it applies to friendship. However, I do not believe in the idea that there's such a thing as "romantic" love; that is, I don't believe anymore in the idea that there's someone out there for someone who would genuinely love you like a boyfriend or girlfriend would love you. In many ways, this is because of how bitter my own experiences with the subject are. But, at the same time, we scientifically know that what we call emotions are only the result of chemical reactions in the mind. This could both account for why you could be in love with someone, while at the same time hating another person for another reason, as different chemical reactions occur in regards to those people. Thus, in many ways, we could debate that emotions are simply reactions with no intrinsic meaning except for defense mechanisms (in occurence with those you are told to hate) and procreation (the reason for what is considered "romantic" love).

Those are simply my opinions but, again, I'm simply a bitter old man at the age of 21 on the subject.

Just a friendly warning to everyone, I am rather confident that we can have a intelligent and well thought out conversation on the subject, without it devolving into CW Network level drama. But should that occur this thread will be shut down.

Thanks Y'all.

i think you could look at it in a scientific manner, break down the emotions you have into instinctual drives and personal preferences as cultural preferences, but i don't usually stop to think about that when i see a pretty blonde smiling at me.

Of course i never have much luck, so i might not be the one to ask 8D

but yeah i do believe in "romantic" love, i mean there is obviously an emotional side to the physical. Even if you want to be scientific about it, there is still an instinctual drive to protect and provide for a cute girl, thats what keeps humanity rolling along.

Hmm, my thoughts on romance. I believe in romantic love. I think Party stated very well that it's instinctual in most of us for it. For us girls, it's a want/need to nurture and support a guy and be protected. But I believe actual "love" is a choice we make, not just an emotion. There are many emotions that come with it, but I don't see it as an emotion itself. Just look at all the couples who were forced together by their families, or general society, whether it be centuries ago or in this century in a third world culture. Some have never learned to love eachother, this is very true. But others have. They many times had never even seen eachother before the wedding, and yet they learn to love eachother. It was a conscience choice made by both parties. And they both strived to keep it alive and healthy by nurturing their relationship. It also takes some chemistry, which we all know we might not have any control over. At least not without being dishonest to the other person, and even ourselves. So, if you've got the right chemistry, and you can make that conscience decision, then yes, I believe true romantic love exists. :wink:

hang on, lemme write this down 8D

I absolutely believe in romantic love. I don't know what else you would call the feeling of wanting to be with someone the rest of your life and always be glad to see that same person is with you when you're old and grey.
I may just be a hopeless romantic but I'm sure there's more to having a mate other than to just ensure the survival of our race and our own genes. The celebration of my grandparents 60th anniversary a few years ago only makes me believe in love more strongly than ever.

lemme put it this way: i've had the same girl on my mind for 2 years now, not just an occasional, "wow, isn't she..." but honest to God nearly 24/7 cannot get her out of my head. She's a good friend of mine, it isn't just a crush, i literally know everything about her, even her problems at home, her psychologiacal issues, her freaky personality quirks, everything. Can't stop thinking about her. An incredibly unfortunate combination of bad timing and the spite of another girl has made it impossible (for now) for me to ask her out, that and my own nervousness. Obviously that goes beyond the visually-based, "dude...she's hot"

I have been with the same girl for almost six years. If I don't believe in being romantic we wouldn't have lasted. I hope to spend the rest of my life with her. Even though our romance is a slasher flick or a guy movie, it's still there. We even have our own holiday movies: Valentine's Day we watch Valentine with David Boreanas, tell me that isn't romance :P.

I beleive, if only because of my deep-ingrained never-give-up, never-know-when-to-quit attitude when it comes to happiness.

And enough about the chemicals already. Technically, everything in your brain is defined by chemicals, but thinking about it just lessens some of the joy in life.

That, or it alleviates some of the pressure.

Erm, don't mind me. I know I'm hardly the most qualified person to be commenting upon the subject of romance. At the time in my life when everybody else around me was panicing about finding themselves a partner, I was too busy fretting about my studies or whether or not the Earth was going to be pulverised by a comet within the next few years.

All in all, I think it's far too subjective a topic for us to be drawing any sound conclusions. If the people who believe very strongly in romantic love have found it in their lives, then I'm very happy for them. I do not, however, view it as the one definitive route toward happiness and completion in life that it's often made out to be. There's more than one way to get fulfilment out of existence.

There are days where I want to say "be careful what you wish for." I was single for the longest time, until Katie entered my life. There are days where I wish there was noone else in my life but family and friends. Do not get me wrong, we love eachother and our dog, but we hardly see eachother because of our jobs and her schooling on top of that. When we do see achother, the long hours have taken their toll (especially for her, because of school on top of job), and we are tired and irritable with one another. Then the dog pisses both of us off when he does his normal "doggie" things. That is where I wish I was still single. I would still be living in my old house if that was the case.

Am I saying romance is for the birds? Absolutely not! But you have to make room for that other person in your life, and that is a great challenge at times; it can be very rewarding though.:frankiesmile:

As most of you guys who have read my posts on the cartoon attraction thread know, I am a firm believer in romance and I have been prone to sappy, emotional, and at times corny statements about the power of life and stuff like that. Having said that, I want to be up front when I say i totally believe it.

I do not believe love is as romantically fairy tale orientated as movies and TV paint it, which I understand and know full well. However, I believe there is in fact a person designated to all of us somewhere in this world. Just because you cannot find that person does not mean that person does not exist somewhere.

Love is a hard thing and it doesn't come easy, but I believe love is such a wonderful feeling that is worth the hardships. Nothing good in this life comes easy, nothing. I believe we were not put on this planet to be alone and even if some of us do not find our true love, I still believe that lover is still out there.

I believe in love because in truth, if you don't then how can you explain the love you feel for pets, family, friends? Romance is simply a different variation of that kind of love and if you can love a comic book, a TV show, a dog, or even a car, why can't you find that same passion and love in another human?

I don't believe the whole romance is chemicals jargin, I think that's crap to be blunt because its a sterile way to describe our emotions. Pain, crying, laughter, any one of those emotions can be boiled down into a cold, lifeless scientific explanation through chemicals, neural impulses and stuff like that.

If you look at romance through that you may as well look at everything else in a sterile manner as well. I believe that not only does love exist but that it is existing for each and everyone of us, and belief or lack of belief does not nullify that awaiting feeling. People assume belief is required for everything.

If ghosts exist for example, whether you believe ghosts don't exist is irrelevant. I think love is something that is very real and while very hard to find, it is something that i think we all have the capacity to do and to find. Its hard, its painful, and it can be a very lonely, long, and depressing journey, but I believe that it is real and having that in my own heart is enough to make me withstand any amount of loneliness.

First, thank you, everyone, for telling me your beliefs on the matter.

For the life of me, I've been trying to find some way to argue my point, but except for one fact about it, I really can't. In all honesty, your perceptions are probably better than mine; I gladly accept this. I really can't find a way to combat them, because in the way you all put your beliefs, I feel they're probably right, or at least for you, they are.

Again, because of my own experiences with the matter, it's simply easier for me to feel like romantic love is meaningless and non-existent, or at least for me. I basically acknowledge that it's something that can never happen to me again, and that's just the way it is, and like jekylljuice said, finding love isn't the only way to find fulfillment in life. You have your way, I have mine; whether either way is genuinely correct, no one can really know.

As for the moment I take issue with....

The thing is, we know by scientific fact that they ARE just chemicals. To say they aren't is to basically defy fairly well established scientific fact. And, in all honesty, science is one of the three main pillars I found my life around. I honestly don't see what problem there is with taking a scientific and logical viewpoint of life.

Because science essentially turns any kind of emotion, event, or experience into something that is sterile, lifeless, and cold. There is nothing wrong with taking a logical look at love, I'm just saying to me its redundant to look at something that is not really logical, logically.

As long as I don't harm another person in thinking that way, I'm uncertain why that's wrong. I find it logical to look at love this way due to the fact that I see no purpose or truth in romantic love, but then again, that's simply my own personal opinion. I don't believe my opinion necessarily to be fact, but I do find it as a logical way to live my life.

The chemical basis for love and every other emotion is established scientific fact and as such it's existance really isn't open to debate. This does not, however, diminish the experience of love in any way, and for me there is truly no more wonderful feeling in all the world. :frankiesmile:

That was my point more or less, not that it didn't exist but the fact it was a cold and sterile way to describe something that beautiful of a feeling.

I think an important thing to keep in mind is that being in love doesn't have to be restricted to having feelings for someone else around you on a romantic level. Being in love, to me, is the intoxicating sensation when certain stimuli triggers a particularly buoyant response within my brain, and as such I'm filled with the overwhelming desire to think about that particular stimuli all the time. And it is indeed a wonderful feeling. I'm tempted to think that it pertains more to a simple hedonistic desire to experience pleasure, as opposed to any instinctual desire for procreation. Remember that there's absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of hedonism.

The stimuli in question can be other people in one's life, but it doesn't have to be. You can be in love with art, nature, or even something purely hypothetical like a meme or an idea. That's the kind of love I feel all the time.